


Of Lust, Longing and Love

by Ariasha



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alpha Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Canon-Typical Violence, Crusades Era Joe | Yusuf al-Kaysani & Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Friends to Lovers, Knotting, M/M, Mating Bites, Mating Bond, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mutual Pining, Nesting, Omega Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Scenting, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:02:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26466124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariasha/pseuds/Ariasha
Summary: Where once Yusuf had been his enemy, he is now Nicolo’s travelling companion and closest friend. But he is also an Alpha. And when Nicolo’s own status as an Omega is revealed, it causes a whole new set of problems for them both
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 246
Kudos: 1015





	1. Revelations

“You’re an Omega?”

Even though Nicolo knows that this moment has been a long time coming, the question still makes him tense.

“Yes,” he replies through gritted teeth.

“Huh.”

Yusuf doesn’t sound angry at the revelation, only surprised and mildly curious. It is a much better reaction than Nicolo expected.

“Is that going to be a problem?” he bites out because Yusuf isn’t saying anything more and he needs to know. He has spent his entire life surrounded by Alphas who expect him to submit to them as soon as they realise what he is and are infuriated when he refuses. He will not willingly spend his time with another one, only other known immortal or not.

“No, no,” Yusuf hurries to assure him. “I’m just surprised, that is all. You didn’t smell like an Omega before.”

Nicolo hasn’t smelled like an Omega for a very long time. First it was because of the potions he had smuggled with him to the Holy Land to dull his scent and suppress his heats. Then, the harshness of war and long periods of starvation had forced his body to focus what little strength it had left to keeping him alive, not wasting energy on mating cycles or producing pheromones designed to attract a mate. Even after his potions had run out, his scent had stayed suppressed and he hasn’t been forced to suffer through a heat for a long time.

When they first met, he assumes that Yusuf thought he was a Beta. But they have been travelling together for more than a year now and his body is finally regaining strength and settling back into its natural rhythm. When he had woken up that morning, he had realised his naturally sweet scent had finally returned and knew that he would be forced to confess to his companion.

“This changes nothing,” he insists, hearing the harsh edge in his own voice. Their time travelling together has shown him that Yusuf is a good man. But Yusuf is also an Alpha and Nicolo cannot tolerate going from a partner and an equal to being seen as something lesser. 

“Of course not.”

Yusuf sounds surprised at his words, as if Nicolo is stating the obvious. It makes Nicolo relax marginally. He had hoped that Yusuf would not be one of the Alphas who expected obedience and submission as soon as they caught his scent, but he has been wrong in his judgement before. It is reassuring that Yusuf does not seem to see him any differently now that his secret is out in the open between them.

He is surprised but grateful when Yusuf says no more on the topic. He had expected more of a reaction. But then again, he supposes that his status is one of the least surprising things in their lives at the moment. Against immortality, it hardly compares.

* * *

It is more than a week before they broach the topic again. It happens when they are in a small village, restocking their supplies. The town has a small but functional market and enough merchants who are happy to part with their wares to travellers for the right price.

Nicolo leaves the talking to Yusuf. His own grasp of Arabic is functional but nowhere near fluent. And even if his skill with the local dialect was perfect, they are still too close to Jerusalem for it to be safe to reveal himself as Genoese. The horrors of the war might not have touched this place directly, but rumours of the slaughter at Jerusalem have spread far. Nicolo knows that his accent gives him away the minute he opens his mouth. Once they realise what he is, the locals do not care that he is no longer a soldier or that he regrets his part in the war with his entire soul. As soon as they hear his voice, all hospitality is refused to him. And to Yusuf, when people realise that they are travelling together. It is better to let Yusuf do the bargaining rather than be chased out of town and nearly die in the desert when no one will sell them supplies. Nicolo has learned that from experience.

Yusuf finishes haggling with one of the merchants and turns to Nicolo with an assessing gaze.

“Is there anything that you need? For, you know...?”

Yusuf makes a vague motion towards the scent glands in his neck that Nicolo assumes is supposed to refer to his recently revealed designation. The day is hot and he knows that his scent is hanging heavily in the air around them. He wishes he could mask it, but they barely have enough money for food let alone perfumes or potions.

“One of my sisters is an Omega,” Yusuf adds. “She used to say that she could never get a good night’s sleep without proper blankets to nest with. We have enough money that we could spare some if you need it?”

It takes Nicolo a few seconds to register the question because he is so surprised that Yusuf would be willing to part with what little money we have left for such an unnecessary luxury.

“I… don’t,” he mumbles, shaking his head.

“Don’t…nest?” Yusuf clarifies, sounding disbelieving.

Nicolo shakes his head again.

“Not ever?”

Nicolo doesn’t know why Yusuf sounds so surprised. Nesting is a luxury that he has never been afforded. At the seminary, they had been warned against bowing to the temptation of earthly desires and indulging in unnecessary luxuries. And once he had gone to war, it would have given away his secret in an instant.

“It is an indulgence,” he answers. “I don’t need it.”

“Not needing is not the same thing as not wanting,” Yusuf points out.

“I’m fine,” Nicolo insists. “There are much more important things to spend our money on.”

Yusuf presses his lips together in a frown but he doesn’t press the matter.

* * *

That night, as they lie together outside, he sees Yusuf try to subtly nudge his cloak over to where Nicolo has settled down to sleep. At least, he assumes that Yusuf is trying to be subtle, although he is failing quite dramatically at it. Nicolo sighs from where he is lying on the hard ground and using his own cloak as a makeshift blanket.

“I told you, I do not need anything,” he tells Yusuf, who does not look even slightly ashamed at being caught.

“I’m too warm tonight,” Yusuf says, blatantly lying. “If you don’t use it then it will just go to waste.”

Nicolo could point out that the night is cold and Yusuf will likely get little sleep if he has no protection from the chill. He could also point out that even if Yusuf is inexplicably too warm for a blanket, he could use his cloak to rest his head on rather than attempting to give it away. But Nicolo has learned over the many months that that have spent together that Yusuf is an incredibly stubborn man and there is no point arguing with him once he has made up his mind about something. Nicolo is confident that even if he refuses the offer, Yusuf will sleep without anyway just to make a point.

So instead of bothering to argue, he accepts Yusuf’s cloak and wraps it around himself, burrowing into the warmth. Yusuf looks inordinately pleased at the sight.

Although he hates to admit it, Nicolo finds that it does help him sleep. Two cloaks is hardly enough fabric to build a proper nest, but it is enough to satisfy the deeply buried instincts that he mostly tries to ignore. Yusuf’s scent is also deeply ingrained in the material of his cloak which adds a layer of comfort that Nicolo didn’t expect. Yusuf has always smelled good to him but there is something incredibly soothing about sleeping wrapped in his scent.

Not that Nicolo will ever admit it out loud.

* * *

Because it has been so long since his last heat, Nicolo fails to recognise the symptoms until it is almost too late. He writes his uncharacteristic irritability off as tiredness from travelling and the flushes of warmth that run through his body as a side effect of the hotter climate. He even convinces himself that the spikes of arousal that race through him whenever he looks at Yusuf mean nothing. He has already acknowledged to himself long ago that Yusuf is a very beautiful man. So surely it means nothing that he feels an aching heat pooling in his gut whenever Yusuf is near.

It is only once he finds himself curled up one night with his nose pressed into Yusuf’s cloak and breathing in the heady scent of alpha until his head is swimming and he is unbearably hard that Nicolo realises this may not be normal. His hand is halfway down his breeches before he even realises what he is doing and forces himself to stop. He does not know what has come over him. He usually has far better control than this.

Then the pieces fall into place with a horrible clarity and he finally recognises the symptoms for what they are.

He bolts upright, swearing loudly and creatively. Next to him, he hears Yusuf’s sleepy noise of concern. When Nicolo turns to look, Yusuf is sitting up too, eyes bleary and hair tousled.

“What is it?” Yusuf mumbles, rubbing at his eyes and yawning. “Is something wrong?”

Nicolo’s throat feels dry and it is almost painful to force the words out.

“My heat,” he whispers, body flushed with shame. “I’m going into heat.”

There is nothing he dreads more in the world than his heats. Heats at the seminary had always been torture. They were supposed to be a time of solitude and contemplation and so every time his heat had come, he was locked in a bare stone room with nothing but his crucifix and an altar and told to pray for forgiveness and resist the temptation of the sins of the flesh. It usually took three full days for his heats to burn through him and they always left him miserable and exhausted.

He hates the complete loss of control. The feeling that his body is no longer his own. The burning in his skin that consumes his every thought. One of the priests had once told him that Omegas burn with the heat of hellfire to remind them of the original sin and Nicolo cannot imagine that to suffer for three days and be granted no relief could be anything but a punishment. It was a blessing when he escaped to the crusades and was able to pass himself off as a Beta, suppressing his heats the way that he had always been forbidden to do before.

Yusuf lets out a choked off noise at the admission and when Nicolo looks at him again, his eyes are wide.

“How long do you have?” he asks hoarsely, voice filled with concern.

“A day maybe. Two at most.”

Now that he is aware of what is happening, Nicolo can smell the faint traces of sickly sweet pre-heat on his skin. He curses himself for not having noticed earlier. Soon the scent will be noticeable to others too and if his pre-heat has already begun, it won’t be long until the full force of his heat is upon him.

Yusuf moves closer and reaches out to rest his hand comfortingly on Nicolo’s arm. He is scent is warm and soothing and Nicolo wants to bury his face into Yusuf’s neck and never let go. He resists, but only just.

What do you need?” Yusuf asks, eyes dark and worried. “Whatever you need I can get it, just tell me how to help you.”

Nicolo suspects that he is not the only one whose behaviour is being influenced by his more primal instincts. Yusuf smells strongly of protective Alpha, likely a subconscious side-effect of being in such close proximity to an Omega in pre-heat. His natural instinct to protect and provide are probably the driving force behind his concern.

“I need nothing,” Nicolo replies, forcing himself to remain calm. “I have endured this before and I will do it again.”

Yusuf doesn’t look particularly happy with his answer but he doesn’t push the point. Instead he moves his hand from Nicolo’s arm and shuffles back until there is a respectable distance between them.

“Do you want me to leave?”

The question takes Nicolo by surprise. It shouldn’t. He has always ridden out his heats in solitude before and it is beyond improper to have an unmated Alpha so close during his pre-heat, let alone his heat itself. But for some reason, he doesn’t want Yusuf to go. He rationalizes it as a matter of safety. To suffer his heat alone here would leave him vulnerable and exposed. There is no locked door to keep him in when he is driven into madness. Or to keep unwanted visitors out. It is better to not be alone when his body betrays him and leaves him too weak to defend himself.

“No,” he admits, and he thinks he sees Yusuf’s shoulders relax slightly. “But Yusuf, please know that when I am in heat I am…not myself.”

Even as he says it, he can feel the shame rising within him. He has never spent his heat with an Alpha so close and he doesn’t know if it will change anything about what is to come. But he usually spends his heats writhing on the floor in a mixture of arousal and despair and begging the Lord for relief that never comes. He doesn’t want Yusuf to see him like that. But he has little choice in the matter now.

“Nicolo,” Yusuf say softly, and his expression is unbearably kind. “You don’t have to be ashamed of this. I promise I will not think any less of you because of it.”

Nicolo desperately wants to believe that to be true.

* * *

The next morning the scent of pre-heat has grown stronger and Nicolo knows that Yusuf can now smell it on him too. He doesn’t say anything, but Nicolo sees the way he subconsciously sways closer whenever they are near.

They are too far from the nearest village to reach it before his heat hits, so instead they settle down in a cave far away from any roads. It is secluded enough that Nicolo is reasonably sure no-one will stumble onto them accidentally. It’s not ideal, but he is already used to bare stone walls and rock hard floors from his heats in the seminary so he can make do. Yusuf seems much less content than he is and spends the day alternating between pacing agitatedly and eyeing the lack of comfort in the cave with obvious displeasure. 

As the hours pass, Nicolo can feel himself slipping further and further down into his heat. He catches his eyes drifting to Yusuf far too often and has to force himself to look away. As the night creeps in, he has to fight the urge to strip himself of the clothes that have grown far too hot and uncomfortable against his skin. Clinging to the last shreds of control he has left, he lies down and prays for sleep, knowing that he is running out of time.

When he wakes up, his body is on fire.

* * *

There is heat burning under Nicolo’s skin. The scent of Alpha surrounds him and he whines, trying to draw it closer. He has no coherent thoughts, only a desperate, all-consuming need that strips him of everything but desire.

“Alpha,“ he moans, writhing as his body burns and his mind cries out for relief. “Alpha, _please_.”

The scent of Alpha moves closer and Nicolo revels in it. He presses himself as close as he can, inhaling the sweet scent that calms his every nerve.

Soft fingers brush against his forehead and the touch only makes the flames inside Nicolo burn hotter. He latches on to the contact, pulling it closer until there is a warm body pressed against his. He buries his face against the place where the scent of Alpha is strongest and mouths at the skin beneath him.

“No Nico,” a gentle voice says as strong hands push him away. “You do not want this.”

“Alpha,“ he whines desperately, knowing that he is begging and far past the point of shame. There is a fire in his soul and only his Alpha’s touch can extinguish it. He throws himself back into comforting arms, longing for the sweet relief that he so desperately craves. He rubs himself against his Alpha’s skin, scenting him until they are indistinguishable from each other. He needs his Alpha to smell like his, to _be_ his.

Once again, strong hands push him gently away and the rejection burns hotter and more painful than the desire ever could. He wants to scream and sob and beg his Alpha not to leave him in this hell alone but his words have been stolen from him and all he can do is curl in on himself and wallow in his misery. Everything is too hot and it hurts and his Alpha is close but not close enough.

The scent of Alpha moves further away and Nicolo is left alone for the fire consume him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who is going to be really embarrassed when he wakes up and realizes he spent days begging Joe to fuck him


	2. Aftermath

Nicolo wakes up and for one blissful second, he remembers nothing. Then the memories of his heat hit him like a fist to the face.

He wonders hopefully if God will be merciful enough to grant him a permeant death so that he never has to face Yusuf again. Allowing Yusuf to be near him during his heat was clearly a grave miscalculation on his part. He had suspected that being so close to an unmated Alpha during a heat might affect him in some way. But he had not anticipated going from begging God for release from his suffering to wantonly begging Yusuf for a very different type of release.

It is very tempting to simply remain curled up on the floor and refuse to face the consequences of his actions. But he cannot hide from this forever. He owes Yusuf an apology at the very least. He can only hope that Yusuf’s kind and generous nature will allow him to forgive Nicolo’s actions and not banish him in disgust.

With a resigned sigh, he opens his eyes and attempts to push himself into a sitting position. His attempt is not successful. His heat has taken everything out of him and his muscles feel like water, weak and useless. Then there is the sound of movement and warm hands are helping him upright. As his eyes adjust to the morning sunlight he sees Yusuf kneeling in front of him, eyes bright with concern.

“Are you alright?” he asks as he helps Nicolo steady himself. He looks as tired as Nicolo feels. There are dark rings around his eyes and his hair and clothing are dishevelled. It appears as though he has forgone sleep for the entire time that Nicolo was in heat, and that only makes Nicolo’s shame rise further. He has never wanted to be a burden, especially to Yusuf who has already given him so much.

Yusuf lifts a waterskin to his lips and Nicolo drinks without protest. There is so much that he needs to say but his throat is parched, and no words will come.

“I’m fine,” he croaks out once the waterskin is empty and his vocal cords finally begin to work again. He is still thirsty but, surprisingly, he doesn’t feel as horrific as he usually does the day after a heat. At some point Yusuf must have coaxed him into eating and drinking, although Nicolo doesn’t remember it. All his memories of his heat are hazy, some standing out sharper but others fading away into the fog.

“How long was I…?”

“Two days,” Yusuf replies, still pressed close as he helps to support Nicolo’s weight. “Your fever broke last night.”

The words cause a jolt of surprise to run through Nicolo. His heats usually take up three full days and they have never been so short before. Although perhaps this is a small mercy granted to him from above to make up for everything else that has happened.

“Yusuf, I am so sorry…” he begins but Yusuf cuts him off before he gets any further.

“You have nothing to apologise for Nicolo,” Yusuf tells him. Nicolo begs to differ. “I told you before, this will not change how I think of you.”

Nicolo cannot see how it won’t. Yusuf has seen him the way he never wishes to be seen, weak and vulnerable and pathetic. And in his deluded state, he had tried to take advantage of Yusuf’s kindness with his own reprehensible desires.

“I never meant to put you in such a position,” he insists because he needs Yusuf to believe him. Yusuf’s kindness has already extended to him far more than he deserves and he cannot let anything ruin the friendship between them when it was so hard won. “If I had known how I would react while in the heat madness, I would never have asked you to stay.”

“I know Nicolo,” Yusuf says quietly. His words sound sincere but there is something in his eyes that Nicolo can’t quite decipher. Then he blinks and it is gone.

“But I would never let you suffer alone,” Yusuf continues. “Just as you would do the same for me.”

“But I’ll never have to,” Nicolo points out. He would do it in a heartbeat, but Yusuf will never be betrayed by his own body the way Nicolo is by his heats. He can never repay this favour in kind. “Not like this.”

“You have held my insides back into my body as I healed, protected my life with your own and rescued me from worse fates than dying on more than one occasion,” Yusuf counters. “Staying by your side when you needed me is hardly the hardest thing we have done for each other.”

Nicolo wants to protest that this is different. Before, they had protected each other equally. But here, Yusuf has been forced to guard him not only from others but from Nicolo’s own weakness. It is more than Yusuf signed up for and far more than Nicolo ever wished to ask of him. But he can tell from Yusuf’s tone that he will accept no more apologies so Nicolo isn’t going to argue the point. He is already lucky enough that Yusuf has accepted such behaviour from him and seemingly still views him as a friend.

Unsteadily, he clambers to his feet. Yusuf rises with him, offering his support until Nicolo is able to stand alone. Once he is finally upright, he quickly takes stock of his condition, grimacing at what he finds. His skin is grimy from the dirt of the cavern floor and the whole cave reeks of sweat and slick. He feels disgusting. It is just another humiliating reminder and he is hit with the sudden, desperate urge to cleanse all the evidence of his heat from his body.

“I need to go and clean up,” he relays to Yusuf, who nods in understanding. He is about to leave when he realises with a jolt of shame that in all his apologising, not once has he actually thanked Yusuf for all that he has done. Another mistake to add to his ever-growing pile.

“And Yusuf, thank you,” he adds, hoping that Yusuf can hear the sincerity in his voice and will understand. “For everything.”

“Of course Nico,” Yusuf replies and his smile is warm and sincere.

* * *

There is a small stream not too far from the cave and Nicolo uses it to scrub the worst of the mess from his skin. The water is freezing but it helps to clear some of the post-heat fog from his mind. The more he remembers, the more he is shocked that Yusuf didn’t just walk away and leave him to his fate. Of course, Yusuf is far too good a man to do that. But Nicolo wouldn’t have blamed him if he did. Yusuf had agreed to stay for Nicolo’s own safety, to protect him when he was at his most vulnerable should any danger find them. But he hadn’t signed up to spend two days tolerating Nicolo’s desperate begging with far more patience and kindness than Nicolo deserved. 

Nicolo doesn’t know why his heat hit him so strongly now, of all times. Perhaps it was a side effect of being suppressed for so long. Or perhaps it was simply a reaction to being in heat around an unmated Alpha for the first time in his life. His body desperately forcing his heat to its extreme in an attempt to lure in a mate the way Nicolo would never do when in his right mind.

Or perhaps, most worryingly of all, it was a reaction to being in heat around Yusuf in particular.

Nicolo doesn’t want to examine the implications of that idea too closely. He has to believe that his body would have betrayed him the same way around any Alpha because Yusuf is his friend. Nicolo cannot risk jeopardising that friendship, not for anything. Especially not for any deeply buried desires that make themselves known at the worst possible moments.

He dunks his head under the icy water of the stream and lets the cold drive the thoughts from his mind.

* * *

They set off together again later that day, returning to the dusty road that they had abandoned when Nicolo’s heat struck. It is at least another two day’s travel to the next town, where Yusuf had previously suggested that they might find work. Neither of them want to remain anywhere for too long, but necessity forces them to take odd jobs where they can for the money they so desperately need. Nicolo would prefer to keep travelling without pause, searching for the two women who only come to them in dreams. But even he can admit that they can’t eat sand and that occasionally it is necessary to stop in the larger towns to earn some coin.

The road is not a busy one, although they occasionally pass other groups of travellers. Yusuf is quick to smile and talk, the brightness of his personality infectious to all they come across. Nicolo prefers to remain silent, happy to simply listen.

It is on their second day of travelling that they run into trouble. Nicolo is first alerted to the danger when the faint sound of a child crying reaches his ears. From the way Yusuf stiffens beside him, Nicolo knows that he hears it too. They both quicken their pace and, as they approach the sound, it soon becomes clear what is wrong.

A group of figures stand in the road before them. There is a small family huddled together, fear rolling off them in waves. The mother is cradling a baby to her chest and clutching another child to her side. The little girl can be no older than three or four and she is the one crying, large tears rolling down her cheeks. Her father stands in front of her, hands held out placatingly to the men who have surrounded them.

Nicolo can tell in an instant what type of men they are. Clothes dirty and swords in hand, reeking of aggressive Alpha in a way that makes Nicolo’s nose wrinkle in disgust. They are identical to every other ragged band of petty thieves that he and Yusuf have come across in their travels. Preying on the weak and vulnerable and it makes righteous anger rise in Nicolo’s chest.

He strides towards the group, knowing that Yusuf is right behind him. His hand flies automatically to the hilt of his sword, although he doesn’t draw it yet.

“Leave them,” he calls out and all eyes turn to him. The man who had been looming over the family, and who Nicolo presumes is the leader of the group smiles nastily, lips curling in disdain. He advances towards Nicolo, as if he expects to appear intimidating.

“This is none of your concern,” he says, voice mockingly pleasant. “Keep walking.”

“Perhaps it is you that should walk away.”

Yusuf’s voice comes from beside him and despite the false casualness, Nicolo can hear the anger beneath. Quickly he takes stock of the men before them, assessing the threat. There are four men, all armed. But they all hold their swords like amateurs, clearly more used to using them to threaten than to actually fight. None of them will present a challenge.

The leader of the group narrows his eyes and takes another step forward, eyes fixed on Yusuf as he raises his sword. Nicolo draws his own sword in response, body automatically falling into a fighting stance.

The man laughs.

“Do you think that I’m scared of you, Omega?” he taunts.

“You should be.”

Nicolo is surprised to hear Yusuf speak again but he doesn’t turn to look, not willing to take his eyes off the enemy in front of him. The man snorts in disdain and then swings his sword towards Nicolo.

The swing is clumsy and wide. Nicolo can hear Yusuf’s quiet laugh at the man’s arrogance as he parries it easily. Then he counters, knocking the sword effortlessly out of the man’s hand and slicing a deep gash across his forearm for good measure. He could easily have taken the whole hand off, but there is a child watching that he is reluctant to expose to such violence.

The man howls like an infant, clutching his arm pathetically. Nicolo brings his bloodied sword up to rest against the man’s throat, leaving a line of red where the blade touches skin.

“I did warn you,” Yusuf says and although Nicolo can’t see him, he can clearly picture the smirk on Yusuf’s face. “Now I would advise that you and your friends walk away, before he ensures that you never walk anywhere again.”

Nicolo digs the blade of his sword into the man’s throat to emphasizes the point. The rest of the group eye each other nervously, eyes flicking between their leader and Yusuf and Nicolo standing with their swords drawn.

Eventually the leader raises his hands, mumbling curses as he backs away. The rest of his group follow, still eyeing Nicolo and Yusuf warily. As soon as they are out of sight Nicolo relaxes, lowering his blade.

Yusuf instantly hurries over to the small family, scimitar already returned to the sheath on his back. Nicolo hangs back, taking the time to wipe the blood from his sword before sliding it back into its sheath. His face and his voice will likely have already put the family on their guard, he doesn’t want to add to their fear by appearing as a threat.

Both the man and woman are falling over themselves to thank Yusuf for their timely intervention. Nicolo would be happy to simply sit back and watch but Yusuf beckons him over too and he has never been able to say no to Yusuf’s requests.

“Thank you,” the woman exclaims as soon as he is close enough. “You saved us!”

“It was nothing,” Nicolo tries to say, but she shakes her head.

“It was not nothing,” she insists. “We have little to give you here, but if you accompany us into town we have some money at our home that we can gift you for your kindness.”

“Please, there is no need,” Nicolo tries again, looking at Yusuf for assistance. He can tell from one look that the family are not wealthy and, although he and Yusuf do need money, he cannot take it from a family in need for doing what anyone should have done. He knows that Yusuf will agree.

“You do not need to repay us with money,” Yusuf cuts in, his smile warm and open. “The pleasure of your family’s company is enough.”

Nicolo can see that the woman is charmed by Yusuf, as is everyone who meets him. Thankfully, she drops the idea of payment and agrees to allow them to accompany her and her family to the next town.

As they walk, Yusuf keeps the conversation going and Nicolo stays silent, content to listen. After getting over her initial shyness, the little girl seems fascinated with Yusuf and talks to him in a babble of rapid-fire Arabic that Nicolo struggles to keep up with. She eventually ends up sitting on Yusuf’s shoulders, still talking his ear off enthusiastically. The sight makes Nicolo smile.

“He’s seems like a good man.”

Nicolo jumps at the unexpected voice, turning to see the woman standing next to him, also watching Yusuf and her child with a fond expression. Nicolo didn’t even hear her approach, too busy gazing at Yusuf.

“Your mate,” she clarifies when she sees his questioning expression. “He seems like a good man. You are lucky to have him.”

“He’s not my mate,” Nicolo replies hurriedly, pointedly ignoring the strange twisting feeling in his chest as he says it. The woman’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise,” she apologises, blushing. Her eyes flicker to where the collar of his tunic covers his neck. Nicolo knows that she is looking for the mating bite that isn’t there. “I just assumed. You smell so much like each other.”

This time, it is Nicolo’s turn to blush. He supposes they do. They have travelled together for so long and shared so much that it is impossible for their scents not to rub off on each other. But he hadn’t thought about how it might appear to outsiders.

“You are right, he is a good man,” he says, turning back to glance at Yusuf. He sees Yusuf throw his head back in laughter, the sound bright and joyful. “And I am lucky to have him as I do. He is far more than I deserve.”

* * *

Now that he knows that his heats have returned, Nicolo keeps track of the date vigilantly, determined not to be caught out again. And sure enough, almost exactly three months to the day, the first early warning signs begin again.

“My heat is starting soon,” he warns Yusuf as soon as he feels the first flash of unnatural warmth run through him. “I have a week at most before it begins.”

Yusuf nods his understanding and then turns to look towards the road, gaze considering.

“There is a town about four days from here,” he says, brows furrowed in thought. “There are a few smaller villages closer to us, but I can’t guarantee they’ll have any rooms to rent. If you are sure you have at least four days before it starts, the town should be big enough to have inns with rooms designed for heats.”

Nicolo is taken aback for a moment.

“I don’t need that,” he protests. Yusuf knows that he had been fine to spend his last heat in the wilderness. Although he knows that inns in larger towns and cities often offer rooms to rent for Omegas - and by extension their Alphas - to spend their heats in, they are expensive and an unnecessary luxury.

“Don’t need what? A room?” Yusuf asks, sounding confused. “Where else are you going to spend your heat?”

Nicolo shakes his head.

“There is no need to waste money on a room,” he clarifies because Yusuf clearly has not understood. “I can spend my heat as I did last time.”

“Nicolo, you cannot be serious?” Yusuf’s tone has changed from surprised to appalled. “Last time you spent your heat on the floor of a cave. Money will not be wasted by making sure you have a bed, at the very least!”

Nicolo is still failing to see what has Yusuf so concerned. Meanwhile Yusuf is looking at him as if he has completely lost his mind.

“I have never needed one before,” he informs Yusuf. For some reason, this only seems to shock Yusuf further.

“Nicolo, are you telling me you have spent heats without a bed _more than once_?” Yusuf asks, suddenly sounding very concerned.

Nicolo shrugs helplessly. He doesn’t know what Yusuf wants him to say. He supposes that he has never gone into detail about his time committed to the church with Yusuf. And perhaps it is different in Tunis where Yusuf grew up. But he still doesn’t know why Yusuf is reacting so badly to a simple suggestion for saving the precious little money that they have.

“I have never needed luxury,” he explains, hoping that Yusuf will understand. “You know this. We have been sleeping on the side of the road for weeks Yusuf, I don’t understand how this is any different.”

Yusuf stares at Nicolo, opens his mouth, and then closes it again. Then he takes a deep breath, shutting his eyes for a moment as he exhales. Finally, he focuses back on Nicolo.

“Spending you heat somewhere that is not a dirt floor is not a _luxury_ Nicolo,” Yusuf says and his voice is now carefully moderated. “If not for yourself, do this for me. It would pain me to see you deprive yourself when there is no need to.”

Nicolo still doesn’t quite understand why this is the hill Yusuf has seemingly chosen to die on. But he is very familiar with the look on Yusuf’s face that signals that he is not willing to back down and Nicolo is hardly going to fight over something has stupid as this. After all, it is not like he has anything to lose by agreeing.

“Fine,” he agrees, and Yusuf seems to breathe a sigh of relief.

* * *

Nicolo carefully avoids the topic of his heat as they travel. By the time they reach the town, he can already feel the prickly discomfort of pre-heat starting, a few days earlier than expected. He leaves it to Yusuf to find them a room, too distracted by the itch under his own skin and the way that everything but Yusuf seems to smell wrong the closer to heat he gets.

The room that Yusuf procures is far more luxurious than Nicolo needs. It is situated far away from the rest of the patrons, with sturdy locks on the door and thick wooden walls. The mattress on the floor is surprisingly comfortable and Nicolo cannot help but curl up on it, enjoying the softness.

Yusuf disappears for a few minutes and when he returns, his arms are full of an assortment of sheets and blankets that all smell clean and freshly laundered.

“The innkeeper agreed to lend me these,” he explains when Nicolo shoots him a questioning look. “I know that you don’t normally nest, but at least now you have the option to if you want to.”

Nicolo definitely wants to. He knows that he shouldn’t, that he has no need to. But Yusuf has already brought him all the nesting material he could possibly want, so surely it would be rude to refuse?

“Thank you, Yusuf.”

Yusuf looks exceptionally pleased with himself when Nicolo takes the bundle and deposits it on the mattress, shifting the piles of fabric around until it feels right. It is not the neatest nest that Nicolo has ever seen. He has never built a proper nest before and he has no idea what he is doing. But the only person who will see it is Yusuf and Nicolo knows that Yusuf will never judge him for this. So he pushes the thoughts out of his mind and settles in the centre of the messy nest, feeling a calm that he has never felt before settle over him as he does so.

“Is there anything else that you need?” Yusuf asks him.

Nicolo is about to say no when suddenly, a thought hits him. Later, he will blame his heat addled mind for it, even though he is still only in pre-heat.

The last time he was in heat, it had only lasted two days. The mortification of the whole ordeal had stopped Nicolo from examining it too closely but now, he has a sneaking suspicion that he knows why his heat was shortened by an entire day. It was unlikely to be a coincidence that the first time he spent a heat surrounded by the scent of an Alpha was also the first time his heat ended early.

“What is it?” Yusuf asks, clearly noticing Nicolo’s hesitance.

Internally, Nicolo weighs up the mortification of admitting to Yusuf what he suspects versus the convenience to both of them if he can force his heat to end a day early. Eventually, convenience wins out.

“Last time,” Nicolo begins, forcing his voice to remain steady and a blush to remain absent from his checks. “My last heat, it was…shorter than normal. I think it was because of you. Your scent I mean. I think my heat didn’t last as long because my body, uh, reacted to it.”

Nicolo was wrong. Nicolo was so, so wrong. The horrific embarrassment of admitting this is absolutely not worth it.

Thankfully, Yusuf doesn’t comment. Instead he nods, looking considering.

“So you think if you have something with my scent on it then your heat will be shorter again?” Yusuf asks and Nicolo nods.

“Possibly. But you don’t have to,” he adds, praying that he hasn’t overstepped. Thankfully, Yusuf seems unbothered.

“No, that makes sense,” he reassures and then, to Nicolo’s horror, pulls off his shirt and tosses it to Nicolo.

“I’ve been wearing that all day so the scent should still be fresh enough to last,” Yusuf says, completely oblivious to the way that Nicolo is standing and clutching the shirt in his hands like a lifeline. Yusuf’s torso is all smooth skin and rippling muscle. Nicolo tries very hard to look away and fails. It takes Yusuf tugging on a spare shirt from his pack for Nicolo’s trance to break. He blames it entirely on his approaching heat.

“I’ll give you some privacy,” Yusuf says like nothing just happened. Nicolo nods in response, not trusting his voice to work properly just yet.

Yusuf leaves the room, sending one last reassuring glance over his shoulder before he closes the door behind him. Nicolo sits for a few minutes, trying to organise his thoughts. Then, because there is no-one there to see him, he curls up into his nest and buries his face into Yusuf’s shirt, letting the calming scent wash over him.

He stays like that for hours as the sensation of heat builds beneath his skin. Eventually the press of his clothes grows too constricting and he strips them off, knowing that he is falling even further into heat as he does so. There is already a thin sheen of sweat on his skin and he can feel slick beginning to form between his legs. Yusuf’s scent is all around him and it drives away all sense of shame, replaced only by incessant need.

He thinks he must sleep for a while, because when he comes back to awareness he is rutting into the mattress and his body is burning up from the inside. He reaches down to palm at his cock, whining when it brings him no relief. The part of him that isn’t entirely consumed by the heat madness has just enough sense to remind him that he is supposed to resist the sins of the flesh. But Nicolo cannot bring himself to care. Sin or not, the threat of Hell is far less daunting now that the afterlife seems so determined to spit him back out again every time he dies. And the teachings of the Church seem very far away when his mind is consumed by flames and the scent of Yusuf.

Reaching behind himself, Nicolo rubs the tip of one finger against his hole and nearly bites through his tongue at the shock of sensation that runs through him. As soon as his finger pushes past the ring of muscle he has to clamp down on his own lip until he draws blood to suppress the desperately needy noises that force themselves from his throat. His toes curl as he adds another finger but it is still not enough. He wants _more_. Wants to be fucked and bitten and claimed. Wants an alpha here. No, he wants _Yusuf_ here. Wants to rubs his scent on Yusuf’s skin until they smell indistinguishable from each other. Wants Yusuf to hold him and fuck him and mark him. Wants to bite down on the unmarked skin of Yusuf’s neck to show everyone that Yusuf is his and he is Yusuf’s and not even death can part them.

Later, he will regain enough sense to be embarrassed by the thoughts. But now, caught in the throes of heat madness, all he can think about is Yusuf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joe: *Takes off his shirt*  
> Nicky: Nicolo.exe has stopped working


	3. Evolution

Nicolo wakes up in a haze of sleepy contentment. He is warm and safe in his nest and the scent of his Alpha is all around him. Blearily he reaches out, expecting to find a warm body next to him. But his fingers meet nothing but air.

Reality hits him as soon as the absence registers in his brain. Shaking off the fog of sleep and heat, he hauls himself upright and drags a hand down his face, trying to clear his mind. There is no-one in his nest with him because he spent his heat alone. Yusuf’s scent is here because he generously allowed Nicolo to use it to shorten his heat. But Yusuf himself is not. Nicolo’s sleep fogged brain had somehow forgotten that. Too caught up in the contentment of sleep, the warmth of his nest and the scent of his Alpha.

Wait, no. Not his Alpha. _An_ Alpha. Yusuf is not his.

Nicolo shakes his head, forcing the last vestiges of sleep from his mind. Quickly, he takes stock of his situation. His body is tired and sore the way it usually is after a heat, but he feels surprisingly alright. His entire body is not screaming in protest, which is an improvement on how he usually feels. The memories of his time trapped in the heat fever are hazy, but he can recall more than he did the last time. This heat was far less intense, likely by virtue of not being his first one in years.

Although his sense of time is skewed, Nicolo guesses that it has only been a couple of days since his heat began, just as it was the last time. Groaning, he staggers to his feet, trying to regain the sense of balance he has lost after spending so much time lying down. His muscles protest at the movement. He aches all over but as he moves, it becomes apparent that the worst of the ache is between his legs. The realisation makes Nicolo blush as he remembers exactly why that is. How he had brought himself pleasure over and over again while imagining that it was Yusuf’s skilled fingers inside him instead of his own. How he had buried his face into Yusuf’s scent and imagined how it would feel if Yusuf were behind him, filling him up and claiming him.

Nicolo is suddenly very glad that he had agreed to spend his heat here instead of on the road, where Yusuf would have born witness to all of his hidden desires.

Thinking of Yusuf, Nicolo knows that he needs to find him. He has already delayed their travels for long enough by the inconvenience of his heat. He will not keep Yusuf waiting any longer than he has to.

Staggering across the room, Nicolo uses the basin of water that has been left for him to scrub as much of the evidence of his heat off his body as he can. Once he is as clean as he is able to get, he pulls on the clothes that he carelessly discarded days before. As an afterthought, he drags his fingers through his hair, hoping that he looks at least somewhat presentable.

He does not have to search for Yusuf for long, because as soon as he opens the door Nicolo trips right over him. Yusuf makes a startled noise, jerking away from where he had been sitting with his back against the door. Nicolo catches a glimpse of the dagger that Yusuf had resting in his lap before it disappears beneath the folds of Yusuf’s clothes.

“Nicolo, you are awake,” Yusuf says with a tired smile.

“Yusuf?” Nicolo asks, confused. Yusuf should have been in his own room, enjoying the rare luxury of having a bed to sleep on and a roof over his head for a change. Instead he was sitting outside Nicolo’s door, looking like he has not slept in days. “What are you doing here?”

Yusuf’s expression turns sheepish.

“I, ah, couldn’t sleep,” he admits.

Nicolo raises a questioning eyebrow.

“I have grown too used to you sleeping by my side,” Yusuf explains, sheepish expression intensifying. “I could not sleep, without knowing that you were safe.”

Now the knife and Yusuf’s position by his door make a lot more sense. If it were anyone else, Nicolo would rail against the implication that he needed protection. But he knows that Yusuf is fully aware what he is capable of. And he has yet to look down on Nicolo for the weakness of his heats. Yusuf is not here out of pity, but because looking out for each other is what they do. Nicolo can accept Yusuf’s words because he knows if their positions were reversed, he would do the same. He could not bear the thought of Yusuf somewhere, alone and vulnerable, without Nicolo there to guard him. 

“I understand.”

He offers out a hand and Yusuf takes it, allowing Nicolo to pull him to his feet. When Yusuf is standing, the distance between them decreases and it takes everything in Nicolo not to sway forwards towards his scent. The aftereffects of his heat are still lingering at the back of his mind, begging him to pull Yusuf closer.

He resists. Barely.

* * *

Nicolo wakes from sleep with a hoarse scream trapped in his throat and the taste of blood in his mouth.

He scrambles for his sword before his mind is fully awake, adrenaline surging through his veins. His heart is beating so fast he can feel it pounding against his ribcage and his breath comes in ragged pants. Next to him, he hears a choked off cry and suddenly Yusuf is bolting upright too, eyes wide and wild.

Nicolo tries to take a deep breath, forcing the panic from the dream down as he attempts to calm his racing heart. He swallows heavily, still able to taste the metallic tang of blood in his mouth even though he knows that the blood is not his own. It is the blood of a woman he has never met, a woman he only ever sees in his sleep.

It is not the first time he and Yusuf have shared dreams of the mysterious women. Almost every night when they sleep, the visions come to them. Two warriors, axe and bow in hand. Laughing around a campfire. Flying across grassy plains on horseback, riding side by side. Locked in each other’s embrace, eyes warm and full of love. He and Yusuf see what they see, feel what they feel.

This is the first time he has dreamed of one of the women dying. As he slept, he had been transported to a battlefield, surrounded by the thunder of hoofbeats and the cries of dying men. He could feel the smooth wood of a bow in his hand, watched as arrow after arrow found their target. He could feel the strength of the woman whose skin he inhabited. Her battled-hardened calm, her steely determination. And he had felt when an unseen arrow lodged itself in her throat, driving her to her knees. He had tasted the blood in her mouth, felt the darkness of death creeping upon her. And he had heard the scream of rage from the second woman echoing in his ears seconds before he woke.

He has tasted death before, but the pain and terror of dying never lessens. Even when it is not his own death, only one seen through another’s eyes.

Yusuf makes a noise of hurt next to him and Nicolo turns to see him clutching at his chest.

“You dreamt of them too?” he asks and Yusuf nods, face still twisted in pain.

“I saw her die. The woman with the bow. And I felt such rage. Such agony as I watched her fall. Like nothing I have ever felt before.”

So Yusuf must have been seeing through the eyes of the axe wielding woman, who had watched as her companion was struck down. He looks shaken, so different to the steady surety that Nicolo is so used to seeing. Yusuf has always been a rock, a constant. It is unnerving to see him so unsettled.

“They will be alright,” he says, partly for Yusuf’s sake and partly for his own. “She will wake, just like we do. They must be like us, or why else would we dream of them?”

Yusuf nods, but Nicolo can still see the echo of pain in his eyes. It is something he can empathize with. He is not sure if he will be able to fall asleep again with the memory of death still so fresh in his mind.

Instead he sets his sword down and starts untangling the blankets around him for something to do. He must have been thrashing during the night because his nest is mostly destroyed, half of the material twisted in knots around him and the rest lying scattered. He gathers it back together and tries to arrange it back into an acceptable state. His skill with nest building has not greatly improved. He would not have bothered to even start nesting regularly at all if it hadn’t been for Yusuf constantly ‘accidentally’ tearing another cloak or shirt and offering it to Nicolo as nest building material under the guise that it would simply go to waste if he didn’t use it. But on nights like these, Nicolo is glad for it. Curling up in the centre of a nest brings with it a sense of contentment that helps to chase away the aftereffects of the dreams.

When he finishes rearranging his nest back into an acceptable shape, he looks up to see that Yusuf still has not moved. He is still sitting up, one arm wrapped loosely around his knees and his eyes far away.

“Yusuf?” he asks, concerned. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Yusuf insists, but he shivers, even though the night is warm. “I’m just not sure if I will be able to sleep again tonight.”

“Come here then,” Nicolo offers, gesturing to the nest he has just finished rebuilding. With a bit of rearranging it will be big enough for two and he knows first-hand how much easier it is to sleep when someone is by his side. The comforting sounds of Yusuf’s breathing and the knowledge that he is close have lulled Nicolo into sleep more times than he can count. It is the least he can do to return the favour. “It will be easier to sleep if you are not alone.”

Yusuf stares at him, eyes wide, and for a second Nicolo wonders if he has misstepped.

“Nicolo, are you inviting me into you nest?” Yusuf asks, sounding strangely hesitant. Nicolo nods, hoping that he has not somehow inadvertently offended Yusuf. He had only meant to offer comfort, not to insult.

Yusuf moves towards him, still strangely hesitant. He stops just outside of the nest, as though there is some invisible barrier preventing him from moving further. Nicolo still does not understand why Yusuf is acting so strangely. They have slept side by side many nights before, this is hardly any different. He shifts so that there is more space, making the place for Yusuf clear.

“May I enter?” Yusuf asks, sounding oddly formal.

“Uh, yes,” Nicolo replies. He supposes it must be some kind of tradition from Tunis that he is unfamiliar with. Yusuf has shared much of his culture with Nicolo but there are still gaps in his knowledge. And it is not as if Nicolo is an expert on expectations when it comes to nesting anyway. Those sorts of things were not spoken about in his home.

Yusuf climbs into the nest, still watching Nicolo warily as if he expects him to change his mind at any moment. Since Nicolo has no intention of doing so, he pulls Yusuf down to lie next to him and tugs some of the blankets to cover them both.

It is warm inside the nest with Yusuf by his side and Nicolo finds himself quickly drifting back into sleep.

* * *

When Nicolo wakes up, there are strong arms wrapped around him and he feels more content than he has ever felt in his life. The sun is shining through his eyelids but he makes no move to open them. He feels entirely at peace.

There is a pleasant rumbling sound coming from behind him. Nicolo can feel the vibrations through his back, soothing on an instinctual level. Through the haze of sleep, it takes him several seconds to realise what the noise is.

“Are you purring?” he mumbles, finally prying his eyes open. Yusuf makes a sleepy noise from behind him and the purring halts.

“I supposed I am,” Yusuf says with a yawn, making no move to separate the two of them. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” Nicolo replies, far too quickly. He has always known theoretically that Alphas could purr, but he has never heard it himself. It is a rarity. Nicolo has never expected to hear it, let alone to experience how it felt to be soothed by the sound. But now that he has, he never wants Yusuf to stop.

He knows that he should pull away. Put some space between them. He should not take advantage of Yusuf like this, enjoying his embrace far more than he should as merely a friend. But Nicolo cannot bring himself to move.

Instead, he remains wrapped up in Yusuf’s arms and allows the comfort of Yusuf’s purring to lull him back to sleep.

* * *

Surprisingly, the next time that Nicolo’s heat approaches, it is Yusuf who notices it first. Nicolo supposes that he must have been keeping track of the days because almost exactly three months since his last heat, Yusuf begins to watch him expectantly. He hovers closer, not enough to be overbearing but enough that Nicolo notices. Yusuf does not say anything, but Nicolo sees how he steers them towards the busier roads. Directing them towards the nearest town large enough to have an inn.

Nicolo considers protesting, but then decides that it is not worth it. Yusuf’s insistence that he spend his heat in relative luxury is strange but not exactly unpleasant. And if it pleases Yusuf, Nicolo is willing to do almost anything.

By the time his pre-heat hits, Yusuf has already secured them lodging. The inn he finds this time is similar to the last, large enough to provide rooms for heats but small enough that there is little chance of them running into trouble while Nicolo is incapacitated. Even though he is only in pre-heat, Nicolo spends most of the time in his room. The closer to heats he gets, the more oversensitive his senses become. Soon it seems like Yusuf’s is the only scent he can tolerate being near without making him want to gag. Yusuf brings him food and sits with him, talking animatedly to distract Nicolo from the itch under his skin that grows worse with every hour that passes.

It is because of this that Nicolo is so startled when Yusuf suddenly falls silent. When Nicolo looks at him, his expression is contemplative and he is watching Nicolo with dark eyes that have always seemed to see right through to Nicolo’s soul.

“Nicolo, I’ve been thinking,” Yusuf begins, sounding unusually hesitant.

“Thinking about what?” Nicolo asks, curious.

“If you say no to this, I swear I will never bring it up again,” Yusuf hurries to say and he sounds almost nervous. “But during your heat, do you want me to…help you?”

“Help me?” Nicolo repeats dumbly, wondering if he has heard Yusuf right.

“Only if you want me to,” Yusuf almost trips over the words in his haste to say them. “I just hate to see you suffer and sit by doing nothing.”

“Yusuf, are you offering to fuck me?” Nicolo asks bluntly, because he needs to know if he is understanding Yusuf right. If he did not know better, he could have sworn that he sees Yusuf blush.

“I am offering to do whatever you wish me to do to make this more bearable for you,” Yusuf replies.

Nicolo has always thought that he is skilled at resisting temptation but this is the greatest temptation he has ever been faced with. Has he not fantasised about this exact scenario? Albeit in his fantasies Yusuf is not offering as a favour to a friend but as something more, but this is still far more than Nicolo ever expected to be offered.

He had once thought that he would never lie with an Alpha during a heat. Could never trust himself to be so vulnerable with someone who could take everything from him. But this is Yusuf, who he trusts more than any other on heaven or earth. And even if sharing a heat outside of bonding was supposedly a sin, it is God himself who has brought them together, given them eternal life and bound their fates to each other. Surely He would not begrudge Nicolo this.

“Yes,” he agrees before he has even finished thinking it through. If Yusuf is offering, this is the one temptation he is not able to resist.

Yusuf looks almost relieved, as if he expected Nicolo to have a far worse reaction to his offer.

“What do you want?” he asks. “I will help you in any way I can Nicolo, you only need to ask.”

What does he want? Anything. Everything. Whatever Yusuf is willing to give.

“I want you to have me,” he replies, and it is only once the words are out of his mouth that he realises he means that in more ways than one. He wants Yusuf to have him, in body, mind and soul. But Yusuf has already offered enough, Nicolo will not jeopardise that with his greed.

“Do you want me to knot you?” Yusuf’s words make something hot curl tight in Nicolo’s chest. “I would prefer not to be so crude but I need to know now Nicolo, before your heat arrives. While I know that your words are still entirely your own.”

“Yes.”

Nicolo forces down the embarrassment as he speaks because he wants nothing more. He has never been one to voice his desires out loud. But Yusuf is asking and he wants it so badly, a desire that he knows cannot be blamed entirely on his heat. He has wanted Yusuf for far longer than he has acknowledged it to himself. His heats have only forced that desire into the open, not created it entirely.

He only hopes that Yusuf will never know the full extent of that desire. He cannot risk losing Yusuf’s friendship, should Yusuf ever realise how much more Nicolo craves.

* * *

Nicolo knows that his heat is fully upon him when the burning in his skin becomes unbearable and he feels the first trickle of slick between his legs. Yusuf tenses and Nicolo knows that he must have scented it too. As the hours had passed, Nicolo had shifted closer until he was entirely pressed against Yusuf’s side and now he knows that the thick scent of heat and slick must be unmistakable. In any other circumstance he would be embarrassed, but the haze of his heat has already descended. Not enough yet to fully strip him of his mind but enough that he is far past the point of such feelings.

He pushes himself closer to Yusuf, inhaling the scent that calms him and lights a fire under his skin in equal measure. Yusuf pulls him closer, allowing Nicolo to bury his face into the crook of Yusuf’s neck where his scent is the strongest. Nicolo mouths over the skin there and feels a small shiver run through Yusuf’s body where they are pressed together. He has already long ago discarded his shirt, but Yusuf is still wearing his and Nicolo tugs at it impatiently, wanting to touch all of Yusuf without the barrier of fabric in the way.

Yusuf pulls off his shirt obligingly and Nicolo presses them closer still, until he is practically sitting in Yusuf’s lap. Yusuf does not seem to mind. He presses soft kisses to the skin of Nicolo’s neck where his scent gland are and it sends a spike of pleasure rushing through Nicolo that makes the fire within him burn hotter. He whines and Yusuf continues to lick and suck at his neck, occasionally dragging his teeth over the skin in a way that makes desperation rise in Nicolo’s gut.

Yusuf’s lips moves from his neck to his chest and Nicolo pants, already overwhelmed by heat and sensation. Yusuf’s mouth reaches one of his sensitive nipples and Nicolo can feel his hands tighten, fingers digging into Yusuf’s back. As Yusuf continues to tease him, he is sure his nails dig in hard enough to leave marks, but he knows that the marks will disappear the minute his hands leave Yusuf’s skin. Soon his is squirming in Yusuf’s lap, needing more but unable to find the words to say it. Instead he scrambles to rid himself of the rest of his clothing. Once he is fully bare, he turns over to rest on his hands and knees, driven by nothing but instinct and desire.

Yusuf’s hands reappear on his skin, stroking softly down his sides. Nicolo can feel the warmth of him pressed against his back and he pushes backwards as Yusuf places a kiss to the nape of his neck, encouraging Yusuf on.

“You are so beautiful Nicolo,” he hears Yusuf murmur against his skin.

Yusuf kisses his way down Nicolo’s spine and Nicolo cannot help the needy noises that escape him. He expects to feel Yusuf’s cock at his entrance. Expects Yusuf to mount him and fuck him. But instead he feels Yusuf’s mouth, licking him open and the rush of pleasure steals Nicolo’s breath away. It is all he can do to cling to the sheets beneath him and press back against Yusuf’s mouth as Yusuf’s tongue breeches him. Yusuf is relentless, using his mouth and fingers until Nicolo is a writhing mess beneath him, panting and begging.

It is only then that he finally feels the brush of Yusuf’s cock against his hole and Nicolo feels like he could cry with relief. Every nerve in his body is on fire and he feels as if he might die if Yusuf stops touching him. Yusuf’s warm weight is pressed against his back and he reaches out to lace their fingers together. The contact grounds Nicolo and he holds on tightly.

“Are you ready?” Yusuf breathes the words against his skin and Nicolo nods, his own words long since lost. He is wetter than he has ever been in his life, the slick dripping down his thighs a sign of his desperation.

When Yusuf’s cock finally pushes inside him, Nicolo thinks that this must be what heaven feels like. It might be blasphemy but it is the only way his mind can think of to describe the perfect feeling of Yusuf filling him up, like they were made to fit together. Yusuf fucks him deep and slow and each stroke drives Nicolo higher. Heat and pleasure build within him and he pushes back against Yusuf, drawing him in with every thrust. 

A strong arm wraps itself around Nicolo’s chest and suddenly he is pulled upright. His back is pressed against Yusuf’s chest and he cries out as he sinks down even deeper onto Yusuf’s cock. Yusuf’s arm keeps him steady in place as Yusuf fucks up into him and he can feel Yusuf’s mouth on his neck, teasing at his scent glands until Nicolo is sure the rush of sensation will drive him insane. His pleasure builds and builds until he is shaking apart and Yusuf fucks him through it, pace unrelenting.

Nicolo is still hard, one orgasm enough to tame the fire inside him but not to quench it. Yusuf’s mouth is still on his neck and Nicolo wants to beg him to bite down, to mark him and love him the way Nicolo so desperately craves. But he will not. He cannot.

Instead he clings to Yusuf and tries to meet his thrusts as he feels the heat building again in his gut. Yusuf’s pace has sped up and Nicolo is sure that he is close too. He can feel Yusuf’s knot begin to swell and he squirms in Yusuf’s grip, trying to draw it inside him. Distantly, he knows that he should fear this, should be ashamed of how desperately he wants to be knotted. But instead he wants nothing more than to be tied together with Yusuf and never parted.

Finally, Yusuf comes with a shout, driving up into him one last time as he spills inside Nicolo. His knot swells, locking them together and the stretch of heat and pressure sends Nicolo over the edge for a second time. His vision whites out as he comes, clenching down on Yusuf’s knot. There is no pain, only pleasure coming in waves until Nicolo is wrung out and breathless and Yusuf’s arm around him the only thing keeping him upright.

It takes Nicolo several seconds to come back to himself. When he finally does, he can feel Yusuf’s chest heaving behind him and his grip tightens around Nicolo, keeping him close. Gently, Yusuf lowers the two of them to the ground, still tied together. Nicolo allows Yusuf to move him as he pleases, feeling boneless and content. When they are finally horizontal, Yusuf wraps his other arm around Nicolo and presses his face into his neck.

“Nicolo,” Yusuf murmurs. “My Nicolo.”

It is spoken so quietly that Nicolo is not sure if the words were meant for his ears. Then Yusuf speaks again, louder this time.

“Are you alright?”

It takes Nicolo a few seconds to find enough breath to reply.

“Yes,” he breathes. Yusuf has driven the heat from his mind and he is more aware than he has ever been. He remembers everything and the fire within him has dulled for now, allowing him to bask in the contentment of having Yusuf pressed so close. “Thank you, Yusuf.”

Yusuf huffs out a laugh.

“Any time Nicolo,” he says quietly, arms tightening for a moment around Nicolo before letting him go. “Any time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two bros, chilling in a nest, 0 feet apart because they’re in love with each other and too dumb to say it


	4. Lamentations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took so long! I had a bunch of exams so I had to stop writing for a while but now that they are over I will be back updating on a weekly schedule

The first thing Nicolo registers when he wakes is the feeling of a warm body pressed against him. Strong arms wrapped around his chest, holding him close. Legs tangled together with his. A firm chest pressed against his back and a face buried in the crook of his neck, breathing softly in sleep.

_Yusuf._

The next thing Nicolo registers is that they are both extremely naked. He can feel every inch of Yusuf’s body pressed against him and the shiver of heat it sends through him is what finally drags him into full wakefulness. There is a single moment where there is nothing in his mind but a strange mix of sleepy confusion and arousal and then the memories of the past few days come crashing back to him with brilliant clarity.

Nicolo’s heart does not stop, but it is a close thing.

He shared his heat with Yusuf. Yusuf took pity on him and fucked him through his heat and now his entire body aches in the best way and he has never felt more sated in his life and nothing can ever be the same because _he shared his heat with Yusuf_.

For a few glorious days, he felt what it would be like to have Yusuf, and be had in return. To be joined together, mind, body and soul. To have what he does not deserve and is not worthy of but covets anyway. And now it is over. He has tasted the forbidden fruit and damned himself with knowledge because now that he knows what it is like, it will be all the more painful to return to longing from afar and pretending that all he feels for Yusuf is friendship.

Yusuf shifts in his sleep, arms curling around Nicolo a little tighter and Nicolo never wants him to let go. He cannot have this, he knows. The fact that Yusuf is even his friend is a miracle. He came to this land as an invader and introduced himself to Yusuf by driving a blade through his heart. It is a testament to the goodness in Yusuf’s soul that he was ever able to forgive Nicolo, let alone offer him friendship. And so Nicolo cannot, will not, ask any more of Yusuf when he already has so much more than he deserves.

But that knowledge does not stop him from wanting. 

Yusuf makes a sleepy noise against the back of his neck and shifts against him. The movement makes Nicolo very aware of just how much of Yusuf he can feel, including the press of his cock against Nicolo’s ass. It is strange, Nicolo thinks, how if he had been in this position even a year ago he would have been terrified. Terrified that he had allowed himself to be vulnerable. Terrified that he had given part of himself away to someone who could destroy him with it. Terrified that he would never again be treated as an equal and instead treated like an Omega, good for a fuck but little else. But here, in Yusuf’s arms, he feels safe.

Carefully, he shifts in Yusuf’s arms, turning so that he can see the other man’s face without breaking the embrace. Yusuf’s face is soft in sleep, relaxed and peaceful. His hair is in disarray and Nicolo is hit with a very vivid memory of burying his fingers into the curls and begging Yusuf to fuck him harder. The memory would be embarrassing if he did not also remember how readily Yusuf had complied, until Nicolo had entirely lost the ability to form coherent thoughts.

Reaching out, he brushes one of the stray curls away from Yusuf’s face, then allows his hand to linger. Tracing his fingertips across the strong arch of Yusuf’s brow, down the curve of his cheekbone and across the softness of his lips. He can scarcely believe that he once looked upon this face with hatred. It is anathema to him now, the thought of hating something he now cares for so deeply. 

Continuing his tracing, he runs his fingers down the line of Yusuf’s neck and across the broad expanse of his shoulders. He distinctly remembers clinging to those shoulders in the days past, nails biting in so deeply that they would have left deep, lasting marks if Yusuf had been a mortal man.

“Nicolo?”

Nicolo jumps and snatches his hand back at the sleepy word. In his distraction, he had failed to notice the slight change in Yusuf’s breathing and the way his eyes had fluttered open. Deep brown irises are now watching him with faint amusement, still heavy with sleep.

“I was just…” Nicolo begins and then stops, unsure of how to justify himself.

Yusuf, it seems, does not require a justification.

“It is far too early to be awake Nicolo,” he mumbles instead, before yawning as if to prove his point. Then he pulls Nicolo closer and buries his face back into the crook of Nicolo’s neck. Within seconds, Nicolo can hear his breathing even back out into the steady sound of sleep.

Nicolo feels his mouth twitching up into a fond smile. He has always been the earlier riser between the two of them. Combined with the fact he distinctly remembers not allowing Yusuf much sleep over the past few days, Yusuf’s reluctance to be awake is hardly a surprise. His desire to keep Nicolo close, even though there is now no need, is though. But Nicolo is not going to question being allowed a few more hours in Yusuf’s arms.

He closes his eyes, relaxes into the warmth of Yusuf’s embrace and allows himself to indulge for a while longer.

* * *

After his first heat with Yusuf, everything changes, and yet nothing does.

Outwardly, everything remains the same. Their friendship is unchanged. Yusuf treats him no differently, still trusts Nicolo by his side during travel and at his back during a fight. It is a rare Alpha who would bed an Omega and then continue treating them like an equal, with no expectation that they would roll over and submit when commanded, but Yusuf has always been the exception rather than the rule. It is why he is the only one Nicolo has ever truly trusted.

Outwardly, nothing changes. But inwardly, Nicolo is in turmoil.

It is not new, these things he feels for Yusuf. The love inside him has been growing for a long time, longer than he thinks he has ever acknowledged to himself. Less a revelation and more a slow slide towards the inevitable. A feeling that has been growing for years, from a seed planted the moment Yusuf laid down his weapons and offered Nicolo his hand so long ago on a distant battlefield. His heats have not manufactured the feelings, only forced him to acknowledge them.

Now, he has to live with the knowledge that he must spend the rest of his life wanting, a desperate aching desire, but never having. It is possible that his feelings will fade in time, but Nicolo doubts it. Being with Yusuf feels right, in a way that nothing in his life ever has before. As if he has always been living as a single half, not knowing what he was missing until he was finally made whole. He has never felt like this for anyone before. And, even if this strange immortality they share means that they live up until the day of the Last Judgement, he doubts he ever will again.

But Yusuf does not deserve to be burdened by Nicolo’s own feelings, so he keeps his mouth firmly shut and forces himself to carry on as they always have.

Which works all the way up until he begins to feel the itch under his skin that signals that his heat is upon him again.

Nicolo is unsure if Yusuf has been keeping track of the days or has simply developed a much keener sense of smell when it comes to the subtle changes in his scent but, whichever it is, Yusuf seems to realise that his heat is drawing near before even Nicolo does. By the time he registers it himself, Yusuf has already begun guiding them towards the nearest city. Nicolo has long ago given up protesting that he has no need of the extra expense so he simply allows Yusuf to lead him towards the nearest inn and focuses all his attention on not burying his hands into Yusuf’s hair and his nose into Yusuf’s neck while they are still in public.

The place that Yusuf takes him to is unassuming, almost identical to every other inn they have stayed in during their travels. Large enough to provide heat rooms and small enough to not be too noticeable. Located near a port, meaning that the mixture of his own pale features and Yusuf’s darker ones draw no attention in the varied riot of travellers from all lands that come and go from the ships in the harbour.

Only a few heads raise when the two of them walk through the door, which Nicolo can tell immediately is because of him. The room stinks of unwashed Alpha and he is all too aware that the sickly sweet scent of pre-heat is clinging to him, marking him as what he is. The scents permeating the room make him want to gag. He has never been particularly fond of the scent of Alpha pheromones in the first place, but recently his heat has been making that dislike exponentially worse, until Yusuf is the only one he can stand to be around. Yusuf smells warm and comforting and safe, the complete opposite to every other Alpha whose scent now repulses him.

A few of the Alphas appraise him with undisguised interest and the feeling of eyes on him makes his skin crawl. He instinctively wants to snap at the ones who are watching, to show their attention is not welcome, but he forces himself to resist. His heat has not completely stripped him of his reason yet and there is no point causing a scene and being thrown out of the inn over a handful of lusty gazes.

One of the Alphas begins to rise to his feet, eyes fixed on Nicolo, and then suddenly Nicolo feels an arm around his waist and the presence of Yusuf by his side. Yusuf is glaring at the other Alpha with undisguised hostility, lip curled in a silent snarl. The other Alpha sinks back down into his chair immediately, hands raised in a placating gesture.

“Sorry,” Yusuf murmurs, arm still wrapped around his waist. “I know that you could handle him alone but…”

“I know,” Nicolo reassures him. In times long past, he would have been infuriated by any suggestion that he needed protection. But experience has taught him that, while Yusuf is fully aware of his capabilities, other Alphas are infuriatingly likely to underestimate him. Sometimes, that works in his favour and they fail to realise their mistake until they are choking on their own blood. But sometimes, like now, it is more prudent to allow Yusuf to play the protective Alpha and avoid a fight that would cost them their lodgings.

Once it is clear that none of the other Alphas are going to cause trouble, they make their way over to where the innkeeper is watching the two of them warily.

“We’re looking for a room,” Yusuf asks her, smiling in the way that Nicolo has seen few be able to resist. “Do you have anything available?”

Strangely, the woman seems unaffected by Yusuf’s charms. She eyes Yusuf up pointedly and then turns her piecing gaze towards Nicolo. She is a short woman, Omega by her scent and mated from the mark on her neck, hands roughened by years of work and face weathered.

“For this one’s heat I assume?” she asks, talking to Yusuf but nodding towards Nicolo. Nicolo feels warmth flood his cheeks. He hates how obvious it is, what is happening to him. If he and Yusuf ever make enough coin to afford scent suppressing potions then he is taking them without hesitation. Without his scent, it is easy to mistake him for a Beta, or even an Alpha. He is a far cry from the classic, delicate Omega beauty. Far broader than most Omegas and taller than even most Alphas, bar Yusuf. As a child it had been assumed that he would present as an Alpha and he had believed it, all the way up until the day he had presented and his world had crumbled around him.

Nicolo loses himself in his own thoughts and tunes out Yusuf and the innkeeper voices as they haggle over price. Yusuf has always been far more persuasive in that area than he is. Letting his mind wander is easy with his heat building in intensity, pulling his mind away from anything that is not Yusuf’s scent surrounding him. It is only Yusuf’s light touch against his arm that brings him back to the present.

“Go and sit down,” Yusuf says softly, nodding to the empty tables and chairs around them. “I ordered us some food and I can take our bags to the room while you wait for it.”

Before Nicolo has the chance to protest that he is perfectly capable of carrying his own bags, Yusuf disappears, leaving him alone. With nothing else to do, he takes a seat in the corner, with his back against the wall and an easy line of sight towards the door.

It is not long before the innkeeper approaches him, carrying two bowls of stew. The food smells heavenly, much better than what he and Yusuf have been able to scrounge up for themselves in the past few months. As she places the bowls on the table, the innkeeper glances around, then turns to Nicolo with a serious expression on her face.

“You should not let him do this to you,” she tells him, voice hushed.

“What?”

The innkeeper rolls her eyes, exasperated.

“Do not play the fool with me, you know exactly what I mean.”

Nicolo is about to insist that he most certainly does not, when she continues.

“You should not let him take advantage of you.”

Nicolo feels the bottom drop out of his stomach.

“He’s not…” he begins but the innkeeper cuts him off with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“Your scent might be all over each other but I know that you are unmated, so do not bother lying to me.”

Nicolo’s hand instinctively flies up to his neck, feeling where his unmarked skin is fully covered by the high collar of his shirt. The innkeeper snorts.

“You might be careful about keeping your neck hidden, but he is not. He does not carry your mark.”

Nicolo lowers his eyes, feeling his face flush. He had assumed they would be able to get away with the pretence that they were a mated pair. Their scents were already intertwined by so long travelling together that they were almost impossible to separate. And Nicolo has kept his neck hidden religiously, from the day he first presented. But he supposes it never occurred to Yusuf to be careful to the same degree. Alpha’s could do almost whatever they wanted with very little consequence, mated or not. Omegas on the other hand…

He dreads to imagine what she thinks of him. He might not regret sharing his heat with Yusuf but the rest of the world is not so kind with their opinions.

“He is not taking advantage of me,” he insists, because he refuses to allow this stranger to linger under false assumptions about Yusuf’s nature. If anything, he is the one taking advantage of Yusuf and his kindness.

The innkeeper is still looking at him, pity in her eyes.

“Do you think you are the first unmated Omega to come in here looking at an Alpha like they have hung the moon and all the stars in the sky? Of course not. You may be young, but I am an old woman who has seen this far too many times before. I know how this story ends.”

“Do not speak about things you do not understand,” Nicolo snaps, because he refuses to hear this woman paint Yusuf with the same brush as every dishonourable Alpha she has ever met. “He is a good man. The best I have ever known.”

The woman shakes her head, looking sad.

“I only say this to try and help you,” she tells him, and from her tone Nicolo is sure she believes that to be true. “If he has not mated you by now, he is not intending to. And when he leaves you for another, you will be the one to suffer the consequences of that choice.”

Nicolo is about to reply but at that moment, Yusuf reappears, blissfully unaware of the conversation that has been taking place in his absence. The innkeeper only spares him a single glance before she hurries away. Yusuf sits down in her place, the smile falling from his face as he takes in Nicolo’s expression.

“Nicolo, what is it?” he asks, voice filled with concern. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Nicolo insists. He picks up his spoon, but finds that his appetite is entirely gone. “It is nothing.”

* * *

Later, much later, when his skin is slick with sweat and he is tied to Yusuf in the most intimate way possible, Nicolo’s thoughts return to the innkeeper’s words.

She was wrong about Yusuf, of course. Nicolo trusts Yusuf implicitly and with everything he has. He would never take advantage of Nicolo, has proven that long ago.

But that does not mean that he will never leave.

It is hard to imagine ever being parted, when he is lying on Yusuf’s chest with Yusuf cock inside him and Yusuf’s face pressed against his neck, purring contentedly. But Yusuf is young, handsome and talented. A catch for anyone looking to find a mate. Nicolo cannot expect Yusuf to limit himself like this forever, eternally travelling with Nicolo and helping him through his heats when instead he could one day settle down with a mate, a family, a life. In fact, it is a miracle that Yusuf has remained unmated thus far as it is. Nicolo had only been spared because of his vow to the Church. Most others past their thirtieth year would have been mated long ago. Alphas might be given much more freedom in their choice of mate but that does not mean they are entirely free of the pressures urging them to settle down.

“Yusuf?” he asks, before his mind has the chance to convince him that this is a terrible idea.

“Hmmm?”

Yusuf ceases scenting his neck affectionately in favour of pulling back to look Nicolo in the eyes. Nicolo tries to ignore how empty he feels at the loss.

“Why were you never mated?”

Yusuf’s eyebrows shoot up at the question. He looks at Nicolo for a moment, as if searching for something, before he answers.

“I suppose because I never wished to be. Why do you ask?”

“Because I wondered,” Nicolo shrugs. “But really, never? You cannot convince me that no-one ever asked.”

This time, it is Yusuf’s turn to shrug.

“They did, but I had no desire to accept.”

“You must have devastated many hopefuls when you told them that,” Nicolo jokes, although he is only partly teasing. He can picture it. Yusuf, young, handsome and charming and surely one of the most eligible bachelors in Tunis. Yusuf would never be unkind when turning down offers of courting but that does not mean he did not leave a trail of broken hearts in his wake.

“I hope not,” Yusuf smiles. “I had nothing against those who asked, it just never felt right. My parents encouraged me to choose someone, but they never forced me to. The perks of being the youngest Alpha child I suppose. I had plenty of older siblings to take over the family business so, as long as I did nothing to bring shame to the family, they allowed me to get away with being unmated for longer than most. Eventually they would have arranged something but…”

Yusuf pauses, looking at Nicolo before speaking again.

“I suppose I always hoped that I would find the right person before then. That I would mate for love.”

It must have been nice, Nicolo thinks, a little jealously, to have had that option. He had thought he might, once. Back when he was young and naive and still believed he would present as an Alpha and have a choice in his life.

“And what about you Nicolo,” Yusuf asks, voice light. “You say that I must have must have devastated many hopefuls with my rejection, but I cannot believe you were not the same. Every Alpha in Genova must have been falling over themselves for the chance to court you. There must have been a day of mourning the day you joined the church and they lost their chance.”

Nicolo stiffens, feeling his heart skip a beat in his chest.

“Please do not mock me Yusuf,” he says quietly. He has never known Yusuf to be unkind but if this is his attempt at a jest, it is in very poor taste.

Yusuf looks bewildered.

“I wasn’t mocking you Nicolo, I was being serious,” he says, the confusion evident in his voice.

Nicolo snorts out a laugh, disbelieving. Yusuf is many things, but he is not an idiot. Surely he could see how Nicolo is the last thing any Alpha would have desired. Too tall, too good with a sword and not any of the more delicate arts, too wilful by far. The very idea that he might have spent his youth fending off adoring suitors was laughable.

“Yusuf, no one was offering for my hand,” he explains bitterly when Yusuf continues to look genuinely baffled. “I joined the Church the day I presented. If I hadn’t, my father would have sold me off to whichever Alpha would take me so that he could get me out of his sight.”

As his father’s only child, he had been expected to inherit, to continue on the family legacy. All the things that an Alpha or a Beta could do but an Omega could not. The day he had presented, his father’s fury was terrible to behold. He had trained Nicolo with a sword and a crossbow, put time and money into his education so that he could read and write and speak several languages and it was all wasted when he discovered what Nicolo was. Nicolo could still remembers being sixteen and terrified, thinking that his father might give him to the worst Alpha he could find simply to punish Nicolo for the time he had wasted. Joining the Church had been his only escape.

Yusuf is now looking at him with horror in his eyes.

“Nicolo, I’m sorry. I did not realise... I thought joining the church was your choice.”

“It was my choice.” Nicolo snaps. “One of the few I have ever had. I could either serve God or serve an Alpha and I would rather have died than be bonded.”

His life in the Church might have been far from what he had dreamed but anything would have been better than being forcing into bonding with whichever Alpha his father chose. There were far worse paths that his life could have taken. And this one had eventually lead him to Yusuf and a freedom that he had long since believed lost.

Yusuf looks as if Nicolo has just gutted him and Nicolo suddenly regrets his outburst. He has never spoken of his past to Yusuf, so how could Yusuf possibly have known? It was wrong of him to lash out when none of his anger is directed at Yusuf, simply at the world and its many injustices.

“I’m sorry,” he says, suddenly filled with shame. Yusuf just shakes his head.

“You don’t need to apologise to me Nicolo,” he says quietly, sounding sadder than Nicolo has ever heard him. “Not for this. I understand.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yusuf: *attempts to flirt*  
> Nicolo: "Congratulations, you have now unlocked my Tragic Backstory™"


End file.
